


72. Pretense

by djchika



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren slammed his trailer door closed, hard enough that the vibrations were felt throughout the whole cabin.</p><p>It was their first day back and Chris was blatantly ignoring him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	72. Pretense

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted August 5, 2012
> 
> Part of My Crisscolfer 100 Ficlet (Drabble) Challenge

Darren slammed his trailer door closed, hard enough that the vibrations were felt throughout the whole cabin.

It was their first day back and Chris was blatantly ignoring him. He had expected it after what happened during the TCA’s. Had expected Lea and Chord and Kevin’s cold shoulders off-camera. What he hadn’t expected was for everyone else to be giving him a hard time about it.

_Your own fucking fault, man._

Ignoring the voice in his head, Darren stalked around the trailer trying in vain to find an outlet for his frustration. He thought of the punching bag in the gym set and wished he could actually take up boxing.

At the moment, he would have settled for a guitar that didn’t need new strings. He grabbed the duffel bag under the bed and hoped that his extra set of strings was still there.  He was too busy going through the bag that he didn’t hear the trailer door open and only realized someone was with him when the door slammed shut.

He turned and Darren was surprised to see Diana, eyes blazing and just a little too much like Quinn to really unsettle him.

She rounded on him the moment she had his attention. “I’m not forcing you to tell your fans or even your goddammed publicist but you either need to man up or fucking stop because you are hurting him.”

She punctuated each word with a slam of her hand on the desk her eyes wet with tears.

He knew he was being a dick. His own fears and insecurities were getting to him and fuck if he didn’t know that he was an asshole because he fucking was but they had to understand. They were in the same fucking boat as he was.

“I’m just – I’m just trying to figure things out!” he immediately cringed at the volume. He was frustrated but it was no reason to be yelling at Dianna. He dropped to the bed suddenly exhausted. His voice was softer when he continued. “You know what it feels like Di, working so fucking hard for all of this and then to risk losing everything because stupid money-hungry shit rags keeps poking their fucking noses in my personal life.”

Dianna didn’t cave. “We know, Darren. Everybody knows. Each and every one of us have worked our asses off to be here and normally we wouldn’t push the issue and we haven’t because it really isn’t anybody’s fucking business but your own, but this is _Chris_.”

He knew what she meant. Knew that Chris, who had grown into a confident and self-assured man in the past couple of years was still the cast and crew’s baby, was still the one person that they would fiercely protect.

“You don’t get to play this game with him. You either decide that you want to risk everything or you don’t. You don’t get to text and call him and tell him you miss him and send him fucking care packages but not tell him if it means anything then fucking show up at an event you _knew_ he was going to be –“

Darren cut her off, begged her to understand. “I didn’t have a choice. I owed Michael because of all the shit I dragged them through after Comic Con. I told him she was going to be there.”

“And you think that makes any of it okay?”

“No, I know it doesn’t make it okay,” Darren raised his hands to run them through his hair but realized just in time that he still had gel in them. He balled his hands into fists instead, pressing them into his eyes.

“I’m trying so hard to please everybody, Di,” He gritted out. “I’m thinking of all this shit all the damn time and in the middle of it all is Chris, and I know that I’m hurting him and that I’m being a selfish jerk and please, please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt him but we were on vacation and for a couple of months I forgot what it felt like to be Darren freaking Criss and just be me. I forgot so much of it that when we started back up again it was like I was this robot version of me, saying what I thought Ryan and Brad and Ian would want me to say or making sure Michael doesn’t bite my head off after interviews. Everyone just needed me to be Darren Criss so fucking much - ”

“Shut up,” Dianna interrupted his rambling, sitting down next to him. “Just shut up and tell me, what do _you_ want, Darren?”

Darren raised his head to look at her and the words tumbled out on their own accord, too fast even for his mind to process and stop him. “Chris,” he choked out. “I want Chris.”

Her eyes softened for the first time since Darren had seen her, “Then stop being a moron and at least tell him. You can figure out the rest after that.”

Darren smiled at Dianna weakly. He wished it was that easy. Wished that he hadn’t already fucked up so badly already that it all seemed like too much to handle.

Diana leaned her head against his shoulder and gave him a one armed hug. “We love you Darren, you’re one us but seriously, keep hurting Chris like this and you know that everyone’s going to be on your ass about it.”

He chuckled at the truth in that. He also knew that if he didn’t get his head out of his ass soon, he was going to lose more than just the love of the cast, he was going to lose Chris.

And Darren may be an asshole but he wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t going to let that happen.


End file.
